so it's been a while but i've been busy. i'm taking a break so i decided to enter back into the blog world. I'm gonna do lists b/c i can't seem to be coherent for more than a sentence these days. my brain is filled with popcorn thoughts that take me in too many directions.
1. Pam- thanks again for doing my hair for the 125; it was wonderful
2. I went to Rutgers for this conference. it was really dope
3. i want to write children's books
4. i want to buy a green house
5. i want to write and article on black family's
6. i want to have a conversation with Michael Eric Dyson (thanks for the link jah)
7. i want to finish all my papers this weekend
8. i want to get this tcp thing this summer
9. I want to hang out with people!
10. I want to play!
11. I want to work on this website!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
a random conversation
so i am supposed to be doing grad school work but i had this vision of restructuring new student orientation at Spelman. I was telling Alii about this and this is what followed.
Alii: well you can come over here for lunch
moya: ha ha i can't i got work to do
Alii: you aint doin work- you planning feminist hazing
moya: ha ha ha ha! that's going on the blog!
Alii: lol
what does feminist hazing look like
?
moya: ha ha ha, you have to name all the women mentioned in "words of fire" in less than a min
Alii: well you can come over here for lunch
moya: ha ha i can't i got work to do
Alii: you aint doin work- you planning feminist hazing
moya: ha ha ha ha! that's going on the blog!
Alii: lol
what does feminist hazing look like
?
moya: ha ha ha, you have to name all the women mentioned in "words of fire" in less than a min
Thursday, March 30, 2006
a list
1. BGS said she'd be on my committee!!!!!! 1 down 2 to go.
2. I was jammin' yesterday to some Robin S on my way to Spelman. I was bumpin' it hella hard but I turned it down when I got in the west end. I felt self-conscious about my early 90's dance classic. Oh quirky black girl get your life right.
3. TCB is over!!! Word on the street is this is the best one yet! I'm gonna take a bow on that b/c I gave the conference 110%. but that 110% came at a price. I wasn't "there" for the conference. I had checked out emotionally and somewhat mentally too. hopefully I have learned my lesson.
3 1/2. I worked really hard on the conference CD for opening night trying to find music by women that was danceable, and not about some man, or if it was, it had some agency in it. this was surprizingly really difficult! the majority of songs by the women we love are breakup and love songs, and very few are danceable, let alone give the women any kind of agency in the situation. please, let me know if i am wrong on this but i had a hard time.
4. the weather is beautiful and all i want to do now is play.
5. I have SO much work to do.
6. I'm creating a production company called Quirky Black Girl Productions
7. I love ya'll!
2. I was jammin' yesterday to some Robin S on my way to Spelman. I was bumpin' it hella hard but I turned it down when I got in the west end. I felt self-conscious about my early 90's dance classic. Oh quirky black girl get your life right.
3. TCB is over!!! Word on the street is this is the best one yet! I'm gonna take a bow on that b/c I gave the conference 110%. but that 110% came at a price. I wasn't "there" for the conference. I had checked out emotionally and somewhat mentally too. hopefully I have learned my lesson.
3 1/2. I worked really hard on the conference CD for opening night trying to find music by women that was danceable, and not about some man, or if it was, it had some agency in it. this was surprizingly really difficult! the majority of songs by the women we love are breakup and love songs, and very few are danceable, let alone give the women any kind of agency in the situation. please, let me know if i am wrong on this but i had a hard time.
4. the weather is beautiful and all i want to do now is play.
5. I have SO much work to do.
6. I'm creating a production company called Quirky Black Girl Productions
7. I love ya'll!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
California!
So I went to Berkeley this weekend because sisters on the sojourn was screened at the women of color filmfestival. Seeing the bay, eating with friends, and catching up was more fun than the festival!
Us hanging out at christine's sisters house
Elaine's Doppleganger
This just in . . .
Yay Jennifer!!
More later . . .
Oh Please Please Please submit your Oscar commentary to some news outlet. I love you all and as I didn't see it I think it wouldn't be right to speak on it. You all have said amazing things on your blogs please spread the word on the racism/sexism/ etc. that was present in the nominations, films themselves etc.!!
More later . . .
Oh Please Please Please submit your Oscar commentary to some news outlet. I love you all and as I didn't see it I think it wouldn't be right to speak on it. You all have said amazing things on your blogs please spread the word on the racism/sexism/ etc. that was present in the nominations, films themselves etc.!!
Monday, February 27, 2006
More on Audre
My mom said that i had to do really well in graduate school so I can be a formative scholar/activist "like Audre Lorde."
I don't think I quite know how to process that coming from my mom. I haven' to like really revel in what that means because it hasn't quite registered yet. That's huge!!
Cuba Goodhair is gone. I miss her already. Who's going to teach me about Islam, without solicitation? Who's gonna tell me about meeting a Panamanian Jew married to a Pakistani suffi? Who's gonna clean my house?!
hmm i think that's all for now.
I don't think I quite know how to process that coming from my mom. I haven' to like really revel in what that means because it hasn't quite registered yet. That's huge!!
Cuba Goodhair is gone. I miss her already. Who's going to teach me about Islam, without solicitation? Who's gonna tell me about meeting a Panamanian Jew married to a Pakistani suffi? Who's gonna clean my house?!
hmm i think that's all for now.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
More on Porn and Audre Lorde
this was the title of the question I posed to the class after being assigned to read the Uses of the Erotic by our dearly departed friend Audre. We had discussed porn the week or so before and could not even agree that child porn was off limits. And I was at a loss for rebuttal because I didn't quite like MacKinnon's argument on porn either but today, we can talk about the Erotic and I hope that will help.
We are reading bridge today as well. Isn't it interesting how all the woman of color are lumped into a day in a fem theory class? While that's obvious to me and I'm sure to the other black folks around the table will we speak it?
I have been so spoiled by the diasporic vision of spelman women's studies, I forget that for others it is an after thought, add bridge then stir. Are we less radical now? I am so excited that BGS is coming next week. I think I could cry I am so happy.
it's not easy being in this eurocentric place everyday, where it is so clear that racism is so alive and well, even among those who are supposed to be invested in this bridging.
Separate but equal, does have a wonderful ring L. I long for that space again, which will happen at TCB no doubt.
there's a revolution burning in me and i feel it is on it's way out.
We are reading bridge today as well. Isn't it interesting how all the woman of color are lumped into a day in a fem theory class? While that's obvious to me and I'm sure to the other black folks around the table will we speak it?
I have been so spoiled by the diasporic vision of spelman women's studies, I forget that for others it is an after thought, add bridge then stir. Are we less radical now? I am so excited that BGS is coming next week. I think I could cry I am so happy.
it's not easy being in this eurocentric place everyday, where it is so clear that racism is so alive and well, even among those who are supposed to be invested in this bridging.
Separate but equal, does have a wonderful ring L. I long for that space again, which will happen at TCB no doubt.
there's a revolution burning in me and i feel it is on it's way out.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Just to get by . . .
I've been a little off these last couple of days. I am wondering about the world and how I will exist in it. I want to be more purposeful, less self flagellating, more hopeful.
The serial optimist is fading. I miss her, that part of myself that thought I could change the world. Will I just be the nelly girl until people forget?
Here's something i wrote one time. i don't know how true it is any more . . .
I am teetering dangerously on a fulcrum of my own construction. We have “sell out” on the right and “all-out activist” on the left. I have a hard time believing in that thing called balance so I feel I must either forge boldly ahead on the road to revolutionary martyrdom or acquiesce into middle class mediocrity.
As I ponder life after Spelman, I wonder how my politics will work in the real world. Is it not hypocritical to call myself a socialist if I’m actively participating in a capitalist economy? If I’m a vegetarian but I can’t afford to buy my vegetables where I know people were paid fairly for their labor, does it really matter? Can I really be down for “the revolution” if I’ve got a 9-5?
But of course, being down in college is relatively easy. You stage a few protests, conduct activist meetings, talk about how “problematic” US culture is, and scheme up grandiose plans to attack the “hegemonic interlocking systems of oppression” of capitalism, heterosexism, patriarchy, racism, ageism, ableism, etc. In the real world such talk is not common place, like minded individuals fewer still and the realities of those systems oppress more directly. No wonder most movements start with the students for we aren’t really apart of the system yet. We don’t have a job to loose or a mortgage to pay and we still feel invincible to the slings of the world. Or at least it used to be that way.
When I look at my generation now that’s not really what I see. I think for the most part we’ve bought into what you’ve told us. That what’s most important is an upper middle class lifestyle, a six figure salary, a wife or husband (gender appropriate of course), a kid or two, and a dream house in the ‘burbs. The media has played a huge role in constructing this American dream for us and by making leftist activists appear idyllically naive and fanatically unrealistic.
I’ve also noted a disturbing trend in the media, the co-option of words associated with revolutions and movements for more innocuous commercial commodities. Chevy’s new Cobalt car is “an American Revolution.” Maybeline is also offering a “revolution in color” in their new matte-mouse foundation. In a recent blockbuster ad a protest of late fees is squashed to the jubilation of customers by the unveiling of a sign that suggests that the company had already moved in that direction. People continue to talk about a “hip-hop movement” but in light of the difficulty the “leaders” (P. Diddy, Russell Simmons, etc.) have in articulating what that agenda is, there has been little in the way of social change. The watering down of these words belies their former political usefulness and is making it more difficult for those who believe in such things to be taken seriously. Consequently, revolution does not carry the same force it used to and a protest is little more than a joke. So what other forms of action are left for the Left?
It leaves me pondering my role and the seeming inevitability of the machine further crushing the will of those who dare to stand up to it. At this point it almost seems easier to sell out, to let Time Warner have the other 51% of my soul and get in while the gettingÂ’s good.
But the truth is thatÂ’s not who I am. As much as I would like to think I could become a nihilist, out to get mine, itÂ’s just not in me. Change is slow and apparently not always progressing forward. These set backs are par for the course and itÂ’s easy to forget that there is good in the world as well. If history has taught us nothing it is that every empire falls, and the ever declining dollar suggests this oneÂ’s on the way out. So it seems that I may be able to hold onto my idealism a little longer, that the powers that be may soon become the powers no more and an equitable world may be just around the corner.
The serial optimist is fading. I miss her, that part of myself that thought I could change the world. Will I just be the nelly girl until people forget?
Here's something i wrote one time. i don't know how true it is any more . . .
I am teetering dangerously on a fulcrum of my own construction. We have “sell out” on the right and “all-out activist” on the left. I have a hard time believing in that thing called balance so I feel I must either forge boldly ahead on the road to revolutionary martyrdom or acquiesce into middle class mediocrity.
As I ponder life after Spelman, I wonder how my politics will work in the real world. Is it not hypocritical to call myself a socialist if I’m actively participating in a capitalist economy? If I’m a vegetarian but I can’t afford to buy my vegetables where I know people were paid fairly for their labor, does it really matter? Can I really be down for “the revolution” if I’ve got a 9-5?
But of course, being down in college is relatively easy. You stage a few protests, conduct activist meetings, talk about how “problematic” US culture is, and scheme up grandiose plans to attack the “hegemonic interlocking systems of oppression” of capitalism, heterosexism, patriarchy, racism, ageism, ableism, etc. In the real world such talk is not common place, like minded individuals fewer still and the realities of those systems oppress more directly. No wonder most movements start with the students for we aren’t really apart of the system yet. We don’t have a job to loose or a mortgage to pay and we still feel invincible to the slings of the world. Or at least it used to be that way.
When I look at my generation now that’s not really what I see. I think for the most part we’ve bought into what you’ve told us. That what’s most important is an upper middle class lifestyle, a six figure salary, a wife or husband (gender appropriate of course), a kid or two, and a dream house in the ‘burbs. The media has played a huge role in constructing this American dream for us and by making leftist activists appear idyllically naive and fanatically unrealistic.
I’ve also noted a disturbing trend in the media, the co-option of words associated with revolutions and movements for more innocuous commercial commodities. Chevy’s new Cobalt car is “an American Revolution.” Maybeline is also offering a “revolution in color” in their new matte-mouse foundation. In a recent blockbuster ad a protest of late fees is squashed to the jubilation of customers by the unveiling of a sign that suggests that the company had already moved in that direction. People continue to talk about a “hip-hop movement” but in light of the difficulty the “leaders” (P. Diddy, Russell Simmons, etc.) have in articulating what that agenda is, there has been little in the way of social change. The watering down of these words belies their former political usefulness and is making it more difficult for those who believe in such things to be taken seriously. Consequently, revolution does not carry the same force it used to and a protest is little more than a joke. So what other forms of action are left for the Left?
It leaves me pondering my role and the seeming inevitability of the machine further crushing the will of those who dare to stand up to it. At this point it almost seems easier to sell out, to let Time Warner have the other 51% of my soul and get in while the gettingÂ’s good.
But the truth is thatÂ’s not who I am. As much as I would like to think I could become a nihilist, out to get mine, itÂ’s just not in me. Change is slow and apparently not always progressing forward. These set backs are par for the course and itÂ’s easy to forget that there is good in the world as well. If history has taught us nothing it is that every empire falls, and the ever declining dollar suggests this oneÂ’s on the way out. So it seems that I may be able to hold onto my idealism a little longer, that the powers that be may soon become the powers no more and an equitable world may be just around the corner.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
What?
I've wasted another weekend. Well, not wasted as much as not been on top of the books the way i should have been. I'm so easily distracted these days.
I really like giving myself permission to direct my energy elsewhere. I realize that i am not the kind of person that let's things slip too far away. Saying "it will get done" is not an empty threat, it's a promise.
yeah . . . that's about it.
I really like giving myself permission to direct my energy elsewhere. I realize that i am not the kind of person that let's things slip too far away. Saying "it will get done" is not an empty threat, it's a promise.
yeah . . . that's about it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Random things
i'm feeling chris brown right now
i wasn't too mad at the boondocks mlk episode
i've read some good books lately.
i'm growing
i'm getting comfortable
i'm happy
i wasn't too mad at the boondocks mlk episode
i've read some good books lately.
i'm growing
i'm getting comfortable
i'm happy
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Relax, relate, release!
This expert advise from Dr. Langhorne to whitley has been on my mind lately. After recieving my my most recent xmas gift, i think that i've got to put this mantra into practice. It's gonna be the theme of '06.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Congratulations!!!
Your film Sisters on the Sojourn has been selected by our programming committee into our upcoming festival in March of 2006. Competition was very tight - we received 15% more submissions this year than the year before and we were only able to program less than 30% of our total entries this year. We are extremely delighted that your film was chosen to be programmed along with other excellent works by women of color from all over the world.
Our festival dates will be March 2-5th at the Pacific Film Archive in Berkeley and we will close on Saturday, March 11th at the Yerba Buena Gardens theater in San Francisco through Cinematheque. Mark your calendars! If you are able to attend the Q&A discussion at the end of your program, along with other local filmmakers, PLEASE LET US KNOW as soon as you know so that we can jump for joy that you might join us at the festival. You will be given a festival pass to attend all screenings. Your film is currently scheduled to screen on Sunday, March 5th at 1:00pm, PFA theater. Please spread the word to your Bay Area friends and family!
Our festival dates will be March 2-5th at the Pacific Film Archive in Berkeley and we will close on Saturday, March 11th at the Yerba Buena Gardens theater in San Francisco through Cinematheque. Mark your calendars! If you are able to attend the Q&A discussion at the end of your program, along with other local filmmakers, PLEASE LET US KNOW as soon as you know so that we can jump for joy that you might join us at the festival. You will be given a festival pass to attend all screenings. Your film is currently scheduled to screen on Sunday, March 5th at 1:00pm, PFA theater. Please spread the word to your Bay Area friends and family!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
New Year's Resolutions
1. get those sit ups right
2. volunteer again
3. read one non school book a month
4. blog at least once a week (oh and please link me again!!)
5. write everyday
6. work on a website
2. volunteer again
3. read one non school book a month
4. blog at least once a week (oh and please link me again!!)
5. write everyday
6. work on a website
Thursday, December 22, 2005
i always feel like somebody's watching me
so i've never read octavia before and i read all of parable of the sower today. couple with that the "server error" message i'm getting when i sign into gmail, the google aol time warner deal, my computer speakers' tendancy to broadcast people talking even when they are off, the three scheduled weekly tests that have interrupted my television watching in the last two days, and the talk of this wiretap business being impeachable, has me more paranoid than rockwell.
this is simply a note to say if anything happens . . . ya'll know who's responsible
this is simply a note to say if anything happens . . . ya'll know who's responsible
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Procrastination
I don't know what to do. it's worse than it's ever been. i can't focus and i have an enormous paper to write that needs to be good. i've done the research. i just have to type it. i know what i want to say but the words aren't flowing. I did good for the first page and a half but then i realized i needed to make dinner, change my e-mail address on amazon and numerous other cites i frequent. these books keep staring at me. i only have one light on in my house, the light in my office but i keep finding excuses to go to the bathroom or the kitchen. i can't go through grad school like this i need to go to a study skills seminar, desperately. but i can't do that tonight. Any thoughts on how to push through this?
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
3 G's
There are a lot, a lot of people in this country with 3 g's to spare. I am one of them. I have 3 g's in savings and she won't take it. There are people, unlike me, who have more than 3 g's to spare and it is really crazy to me that people can't even ask for fear of not being timely with the pay back. but for some 3g's won't be missed, wouldn't need to be paid back. I just refuse to give up but I can't fight when someone's already resigned. I think parents are ridiculous! I think this post is incoherent but that's how i'm feeling.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Random 1
So this is my new show! Add it to your line up. It makes the world seem not so evil! Oh, and ya'll can link me, just not as my name please!
I think the Prof. read the blog. That's the only way I can explain such a chilly reception in class last week. So to preserve my ability to tell as much as I want, I moved!
I think the Prof. read the blog. That's the only way I can explain such a chilly reception in class last week. So to preserve my ability to tell as much as I want, I moved!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
i said burr . . .
Thursday, October 13, 2005
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