I had my first blow to my ego yesterday. I was in my med anthro class trying (very inarticulately i might add) to question anthropology and it's goals. I don't know the jargon of the field so my comments were simplistic and wholly disappointing. i felt like their was a masked hostility from some of my classmates toward me and it wasn't cool. It just made me mad that certain anthropology students will go to some part of the world that they know nothing about, not speaking the language, do a study and then for the sake of the ethical standards of anthropology, give the studied population a copy of whatever work they produced, in english no doubt, and with no way to decipher it. I think i inadvertently put my professor on the defensive too which i didn't mean to do. i was just trying to understand.
and that was the beginning of a day filled with little reminders of my newness to this kind of academic environment. Spelman was a womb and to an extent so is my dept but I am rapidly being pushed out and it is cold and bright! I am no longer moya campus activist extrodinaire but one of the many inkblots who make people and institutions feel as if they aren't racist. I was naive to think that this was gonna be a non issue because i had a good first week. One day can do a number on an ego though.
but the struggle continues . . .
6 comments:
I Keep lyrics
Artist - Jill Scott
Album - Beautifully Human
Lyrics - I Keep
Some of them wanna break you down
Steal your crown
Use and abuse you
Some of them smiling in your face
Cause they heard it some place
You got more then they're used to
Some of them wanna steal your love, ooh
Cause they're jealous of how you're living and giving
I keep
Moving foward, pressing onward, striving further
I keep
Keep on laughing, keep on living, keep on loving yeah
I keep
Keep on dreaming, keep on achieving, keep on beleiving
I keep
I keep smiling when i come through and I cry when I need to
Some of them, oh they stab you in your back, cause it's love they lack
Some of them won't even try to see the good insode
But I...
I keep
Moving foward, pressing onward, striving further
I keep
Keep on laughing, keep on living, keep on loving yeah
I keep
Keep on dreaming, keep on achieving, keep on beleiving
I keep
Hey oh oh oh
I keep
I keep on, keep on living, keep on learning, keep on smiling oooh oooh yeah
I keep
Keep on laughing, keep on living, keep on loving yeah
I keep
Keep on dreaming, keep on beleiving, keep on achieving
I keep
I keep smilling when I come through an I cry when I need to
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah...
I keep on, keep on keeping on
Yea, I keep
though the field is changing, anthropology is about fetishizing another culture.
they may have gotten in a little jab, but you're not down for the count.
saf's mom (who has a phd in english) said this [the grad skool process] is like hazing...that shit is real.
Well we have talked about this before...but I will still comment.
Fuck 'em. Do you Mailey.
Come into the class with all of your feminism at had and let them know that wha they are doing is wrong. If your work isn't bettering the people then what are you doing it for. What's the point?
Don't be silenced by those Emory punks....let them know where you come from.
One Love
Wow, I wish I would have attended a HBCU if you only just experienced the first blow to your ego! Keep your head up, establish you and things will get better!
Yeah. Finally we have to look these dead white dudes in the face huh? I have similar expereinces in my Art History class but you know what Res told me something that is so true and powerful We got this HBCU expereince so that we could check people on these issues and if they can't take it they THEY need to fix it. Making people uncomfortable is all a part of it. I feel like this is so similar because Anthro and Art History are extremely linked. Its all about the study of objects and cultures, attributing some meaning to it and attemting to reassuring yourself that such meanings are nto arbitrary. Our experience shows us that there is a meaning to the language. That the language is not objective and that folks who are trying to recreate it need to checl thier subjectivity out. Its all for the revolution boo.
Someone gave me this advice when I started grad school (she graduated from Howard). At majority schools, professors and students may have different criteria for evaluating success, compentency, etc. My experience has been that what I thought (or what I have been told by instructors throughout the majority of my edu) were my strengths ended up being my greatest weaknesses according to some of my white professors and classmates at Duke. You just have to know yourself, and remind yourself that ultimately if your shit wasn't tight, they wouldn't have let you in the program. If you haven't read it already, check out The Four Agreements. This will not be the last time people will try to bruise your ego, and this book has helped me to roll with the punches and deal with the stress of being an inkspot.Peace
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