Nothing grabs the attention like a well placed expletive.
or a headline about golf's golden (Cablinasian) boy getting caught out there with a "side chick" (or three (or nine)).
I've never been a fan of the term side chick though I suppose it's better than some of the other names circulating for the women straight men have sex with outside of monogamous relationships. The term side chick presumes a certain marginal status, which really belies their prevalence in the world of male celebrity or in Tiger's life in particular.
All of the comments about their (un)attractiveness and more importantly their whiteness to his blackness are not really what this post is about. Clearly in the context of Tiger Wood's infidelity, the one drop rule is still in effect. Scan any sex shop or porn site and you'll surely find evidence of America's obsession with white women having sex with black men. Post-racial world my ass.
The human piece, a woman's hurt at discovering lies and infidelity, gets overlooked and Tiger's transgressions become a profit bearing clusterf*ck of sensational headlines, news stories, blogs and parodies. His wife's pain, or at least having her (American) dream life tarnished, is relegated to the background and folks even have the nerve to defend his actions.
The excuses, the letters of support and words of encouragement being made for him are blowing my mind. Even from sources I normally like. Because he's good at hitting a tiny ball he gets a pass on infidelity? Nope. I'm not biting.
Celebrity culture and sports mania allow men to get off the hook for cheating, abusing, and even killing the women they purport to love. I'm particularly pissed when these men make vows to not do what they've done (and continue to do). Straight folks, what happen to protecting marriage?
I think what is most unbelievably frustrating about this is the fact that these men have options besides cheating. Non-monogamy works for a lot of people. You don't have to get married and even if you do you don't have to be monogamous. All these women are asking is that you keep the promises that you made regarding the relationship and if that's not working anymore, ask for what you need. If fidelity isn't it, man up and say that shit!
It amazes me that men will complain about the rules they set up when they break them. White supremacist capitalist heteropatriarchy privileges the nuclear family and so to be completely successful (and marketable) a man's gotta have the dutiful housewife and the 2.3 kids. But that's not enough. In America, excess doesn't exist so why sleep with one woman if you can sleep with 12?
In general, I don't give a f*ck about Tiger Woods or his lost endorsements. What I do care about is this situation as yet another example of problematic gendered relationships between men and women in this country.
5 comments:
very well written...i agree with everything you said, except:) I don t feel that he should loose endorsements due to his infidelities, although i understand why he is loosing them, i personally feel that like the separation of church and state (which isn t really a separation at all) his personal life and business life should not coincide. clearly this is impossible with the paparazzi-driven society that we operate in.
btw love how you used the word clusterfuck, it s one of my faves.
Awesome analysis, to include capitalism and heteropatriarchy is clever, I was reading an article about the domestication of women and this ties closely to it ( plus it's hella funny)
@ ginger i start with the assumption our humanity, the personal trumps the business side. Plus Tiger is sitting on stacks. I can't imagine he'll miss the money. My angst around capitalism is high. I don't think people should get payed to play sports but that's another blog :')
I so love a curse word!
@blue moon, thanks!!! I have summer m. to thank for that addition!
Yeah...I'm indifferent to his situation as well. I agree with your article. We need to find different ways to begin and sustain relationships. The traditional way does not work as well as we think. That's why I am a proponent of open-relationships. But, even with that, every party must be honest, truthful, and respectful to the other.
For Tiger and others, if you want to step out, be honest and forthright. Not only do you do your partner a favor, you do yourself one as well.
It's funny...a friend of mine told me how just getting engaged helped advance his career...the future looks bleak for this anti-marriage, anti-procreation man. Oh well.
@MB I can't wait to comment on your blog about getting paid to play sports.
sage commentary. thanks for sharing. below is a blog that i think you'll find enlightening. it's authored by a professor at my college. she's amazingly astute and unapologetically pointed with her words. please add it to your list and be well.
http://diaryofananxiousblackwoman.blogspot.com/
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