Disordered eating and other things

I got up this morning and went to this conference I wasn't sure I wanted to go to. But I went and it was great. Not because of what I learned for my project but what I learned for my self. I went thinking that the conference was going to be about challenging media's constructions of body image, and it was only to those presenting, body image was tied to weight and attractiveness. not race so much or ability or class or sexuality, not all those other interlocking systems that I think are crucial for any good feminist to include in her research.

so I managed to silence this inner critic long enough to learn something about myself. In a session with clinicians talking about "disordered eating" I learned that these episodes of disordered eatings have triggers. Common ones include stress, anxiety, childhood sexual trauma, parents divorcing, etc. Another one was saying yes when you really want to say no.

now that gave me pause. It made me think of the full and ever filling google calendar of mine and as well as the ever tightening waistband of my pants. Are these connected?

and so I was inspired/ reinspired to make time for me although I'm still unsure of what that means and how that looks and whether I'm really ready for it. Returning to the blog is one part of it. The writing helps me think and helps me process. And I always feel good getting things out in cyber space.

so aha, do call it a come back :)